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Vintage HumanGolf Article

By Martin Vousden

There are a lot of books out there on the wonderful game of golf but not too many are worth keeping and reading again. You will notice there are no instruction manuals in our list, because trying to learn how to play golf from a book is like trying to become a great lover by reading an illustrated magazine on self-abuse. Also, “best” means most enjoyable — either because of their excellence or excrescence.

The Rub of the Green, William Hallberg

Often mysteriously overlooked but, with the exception of PG Wodehouse, the only good novel featuring golf ever written. Its hero goes to jail but dreams of turning the prison swamp into a great two-hole course — trouble is, he needs the help of the frankly mad and disordered ground staff to realize the dream. “I laughed until I wet myself.” – Her Majesty the Queen

The Greatest Game Ever Played, Mark Frost

The story of how an unknown American amateur, Francis Ouimet, took on two of the game’s greats — Harry Vardon and Ted Ray — in the US Open; matched them for 72 holes and then beat them in the playoff. So well-written (by a man who really knows his craft) and absorbing that you forget you know the ending. “An achingly beautiful and yet powerful homage to the indomnitable spirit of the down-trodden lumpen proletariat, evoked in a lyrical paean of sensitivity, encapsulating all that is esoteric but vibrantly alive in the unending quest of the individual to rise above the circumstances of his birth.” – Lee Westwood

My Autobiography, Bernhard Langer

The title is the most original thing about it and it takes true genius to make a life as rich and interesting as Langer’s read like a recipe for beans on toast. Ghost-written by a man described as a “writer and a director of Christians in Sport.” The second part of the description may be true, the first definitely isn’t. It starts with the words: “I was born in Anhausen, near Augsberg in Southern Germany on 27 August 1957,” and then gets really dull. “The world is full of books, and this is one of them.” – Arnold Palmer

Four-iron in the Soul, Lawrence Donegan

A season as a Tour caddie (to Ross Drummond, and whatever happened to him?). The idea’s been done before, but not by someone with Donnegan’s eye for detail, sharp observation and wit. Full of great anecdotes — did you know that Al Capone cheated at golf — and greater characters. “Say that about me again and I’ll deck you.” – Blind-boy, Pirate, Dustbin-Legs, Road-Runner McGhee, caddie to the stars

Tarbuck on Golf, Jimmy Tarbuck

No, of course not — just wanted to make sure you were paying attention. “Shome mishtake shurely.” – Sean Connery

Nice Jumper, Tom Cox

As Neil Sedaka almost said, growing up is hard to do. But if you become obsessed by a nerdy game, which means that everyone else at school thinks you’re the un-coolest thing since permed hair for boys, adolescence becomes a torturous journey in which all you do is play with your balls. The difference is, all your mates are doing it in the privacy of their bedroom while you’re out in public, striding the fairways. “He could have my babies any time.” – Laura Davies

Bud, Sweat and Tees, Alan Shipnuck

The story of the 2002 US PGA champion Rich Beem, never knowingly confused with a mild-mannered, teetotal, sexual hermit, and his even more outrageous caddie, Steve Duplantis. It’s Tin Cup made real but without the irritation of Kevin Costner. “He could have my babies any time.” – John Daly

NEXT: The Best Books in Golf (part 2)

Martin Vousden is a freelance golf writer, a former editor of Today’s Golfer and launch editor of Golf Buyer and Swing magazines. His book, With Friends Like These; A Selective History of the Ryder Cup, was published in 2006 by Time Warner. He edits the RareBirdie.com website.